Tuesday, 10 October 2017

Celebrating My Role {FT Merci Maman}

It is a constant; Parenthood. And with every new week it seems, comes a new challenge to make you question all your actions before. There isn't really much that compares to the constant thought processes that arrive when you become a parent; never had stress like it. But that sounds like it could be negative when actually this is absolutely not a negative, it's hard, but not a negative.

I really like little moments that get me thinking about parenting, or more, parenthood. My brother became a first time father 9 days ago and a good friend became a first time mother. Another good friend also had her second boy and my sister is imminently awaiting the arrival of her second. It's everywhere I look right now. Babies all around me and all these people celebrating their own personal moments of becoming parents. Having babies around is always a nice thing but I think because these people are all especially close to me there is so much more emotion involved and I suppose you know the emotions of the first timers; nothing gets you ready for it in quite the same way and I am reliving some of those moments quite clearly in my mind myself. It is quite strange, but I think it is all because it is about at once.

You never do forget though; those moments that change your life and redefine you as something else. I have definitely struggled over the years coming to terms with this different me and sometimes I have felt totally lost like I didn't know where Emily really was. I don't think I realised I was here, I just thought I was looking for her in some former life and that 'that' Emily would reappear. I didn't let myself accept 'this' me, I could be more or even both these forms of myself, but in recent years I have realised that she is gone, she went when we made our choices, but again, this isn't a negative. No, this is a rebirth of a role that I never imagined I would be able to preform, one that I still question. My ability to perform but one I wouldn't relinquish as it made me the Emily of today.

Parenthood is no easy feet, it makes everything fall apart and at the same knits it so tightly together.
Recently Merci Maman, a beautiful jewellery company based in London, contacted me to ask if I could help them celebrate their 10th anniversary. Even though I couldn't make it to the Party they gifted me this beautiful personalised necklace. It has a beautiful hammered disc, a disc that is engraved with Raphael and Giulietta written on it and my birthstone. As soon as I opened it I knew that it was going to be a special piece. There is something about Merci Maman which really appeals to me. They just seem to get it, and in turn I feel that they really deal with each order personally. Engraving it for you to suit the moment you want to immortalise almost, and for me, this time it was about the three. A bit of me and a bit of them. My children make me, they have changed all of me and will continue to change me more. This role is ever giving and what I am finding is that I am the one gaining all the goods. Lucky me. This Emily who was lost, but actually, who was just never quite found.