It's not often I talk about my true feelings within parenting, but every so often something comes along that I like to share. On Tuesday evening I had my first real pang in realising that Etta was not a baby anymore. It was a tough one and trust me, I had to hold back the tears. I felt myself welling up as I watched her and my emotional mind was just thinking about how proud I was as this little girl had her first independent swim lesson. Etta has been swimming with a company called Puddle Ducks since she was 5 months old. I remember her first sessions with them and how wonderful it was teaching the kids to swim when we were also in the water. The classes are small and until they get to the 'Swim Academy' stage you are both in the water together with a teacher. Raph's swimming journey has been really different to Etta's. Raph was two when he started and he quickly progressed through the stages. I say quickly, he obviously loved the lessons and after a year of doing it we got a new teacher, Nick who just took him from strength to strength and he absolutely adores being in the pool. Even when we swim away from lessons he is a real water baby. Etta's journey has been so different and she has had set backs, so I think because of them it made Tuesday night all the more poignant. Etta was doing really well. She was a confident swimmer as a toddler, but lost confidence following an ear infection. I think that before she had the infection her ears had hurt and going underwater, she obviously had pain so feared going underwater and completely became stagnant in her development. It was really frustrating for me. It got me so worked up, her backwards stepping in this process that she had been so happy with since being so young. I started to dread the classes and began to feel that we were just wasting our money. In January this year Rob and I were all for stopping which I didn't want to do as Puddle Ducks had been so important in our lives for so long that I didn't just want to walk away angry that we weren't making progress so we decided to switch teachers and see if the change of venue and faces would make a difference to Etta. I think with Etta is that she likes what she likes and anything else doesn't amuse her. She was in a class of boys with a male teacher and she as a child has always loved women. She loves 'big girls' and unless she knows them, boys are of no interest. As all the children were younger too there was often a lot of fuss which I think held Etta back as she would just watch others cry and then not want to do things also. The new class was different with a new female face and Etta improved so much that after just a few weeks the teacher said she could move up stages. Since Raph has also gone up a stage we have ended up changing our sessions round to suit and both kids now have the same teacher on the same eve. Amazing for our routine and also for Etta as she adores 'Beck' and talks about her all the time. Etta went to swim academy this week for the first time which is where they start swimming independently with two teachers in the water to support and teach. It's a big step. She is only 3.5 and as I knew she wouldn't like it without me, I chose not to tell her until we arrived at the pool. It was a brave move but I knew she would fuss, but as we had minutes to change and get ready, by the time I handed her over she had just started to whimper with nerves and whispered to the teacher that she may not make it. However, as these ladies are so caring and have such a great rapport in their teaching skills Etta just flourished and as I watched her go up and down with her float with a big smile and legs kicking at double the speed due to the nerves and excitement I knew I had lost her. I could see in her face, right before my eyes that she was gone and a baby no more and even writing this is making my eyes fill up! It is just that next stage that I thought I would be OK with but this proves that I just really am not. But that's fine and this is a wonderful way to watch her grow in ability and confidence as a little girl.
What am I going to do in September when she goes to school?
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