Monday, 23 January 2017

The Peace Of White Tulips.

On December 30th I decided I'd had enough of the Christmas decorations. It is the first time ever I have wanted to tidy up early and it did not go down well. I almost felt a little overwhelmed and I wanted to tidy. It was this overshadowing that came over me and the only way I was able to shake it was to clear up a bit. Part of it, for me, is since painting and minimalising a bit in the summer, I have really loved having clear sides, so when the Christmas decorations came out I realised just how much I had loved the space. Rob insisted that the tree and nativity stay up and he was right. They need to stay and only went this weekend after Epiphany. 
Something that I really felt I needed though was some fresh flowers. You know me, I love having flowers and like to keep it simple in terms of colours and styles so when we ventured out for a walk I picked up the only, and a little bit sorry looking, £2.50 pack of white Tulips from Tesco. 
They did their job. They changed my mood a little.

It wasn't until January 1st though that these simple flowers made a difference to me. On New Year's Eve my Godfather died. It was awfully sad. I am sad. But these flowers have given me so much comfort. All week I tried to get more from my Mum's flower shop, but they were just not on the market, then on Thursday I got some. 50 whole stems to be exact and they have just brought me such peace. 
Once I had collected them I was so desperate to get them home. But it was when I was preparing them that I just felt at peace. I haven't been sleeping well and am just struggling with a lot of thoughts. I believe in a 'happy ever after' so it's not really that that has got to me, it's the thoughts surrounding it that I am thinking about. But that will end in time. 
The peace from the pure, white, clean flowers though has shown me a calmness and filled the house with some life in such a pure way. I was walking Raph to school and I spotted shoots for the impending arrival of snowdrops and it kind of brought the same feelings up, this new fresh start, the beauty of spring and the purity of a perfect form. 
As I said, the house has been pleasantly filled with stems, and as they have begun to open I have kept decanting and putting in different places. 

My favourites are the ones in the kitchen because I find they have been a lovely comfort when I have just been hiding in there a bit. When the pots are away and the surfaces are clean they really are just standing there peacefully, looking pretty.

I feel these flowers have really allowed me to pass into January beautifully and as the house has been cleaned and everything has been put away, they have become a constant for the downstairs area and I feel I will be refilling them for a few weeks. 


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