Each week passes so quickly at the moment and I find myself in a real lull with the blog. As much as I like creating I find I am making excuses as to why I shouldn't sit down and write. I know why, and that is always a start. My reasoning is more practical. I am doing a few courses right now which need essay assignments done and due to minimal work over the home school period I have been cramming a bit these last three weeks. Also, each week simply disappears. What is that? It just constantly goes, and not in any kind of bad way, I think I am enjoying the quiet of the kids being back at school as much as I am not. It's so strange this limbo way of life, but here I am, eventually back on the computer actually writing for myself and it is flowing easily.
If you follow me on Facebook and Instagram you may of seen a while ago that I was invited to speak with Fortis Therapy, a local Lincolnshire based therapy centre, about self care and how I implement it into my life. I promised the girls I would have a follow up post sharing more of my tips so hear it is.
I find the idea of self care amazing to be truthful. I think we all in a way practice some kind of action to help look after ourselves better. I know most of the time we probably don't call it self care because that can sometimes come with a connotation of feeling selfish. We tend to think that giving our selves a bit more time or care comes at a negative cost, the thought in fact that us doing something for ourselves takes away from care for someone else. We end up in a cycle of only giving ourselves a bit of time or extra love because "that's all we have time for". I am here to tell you to stop thinking this! Giving yourself a bit more care actually only encourages a better attitude to caring for others. It does. The better you feel, the better you respond to work and family.
At the centre of self care is the idea that you actually become more mindful towards yourself. The moment that you start to practice more mindful actions is the moment that you suddenly realise what you actually have. The switch from running in a race where you spend your time keeping up with everyone else to only keeping yourself going is monumental. Part of self care is realising that the measure of you and of what you do has no comparison to others. The phrase "you do you" has never been more appropriate in this scenario. Of course it doesn't mean "you do you to a point of become completely selfish with a huge lack of care towards others and the world." No. It means that your measure can only come from a place from within. It is within us all to know what works and what doesn't work. Comparison, judgement, anger, jealousy are all emotions that are quick to bubble up inside of us when we make our life work in the reflection of others we may see on social media. We have to be able to break away from those thoughts and make sure we are giving ourselves time to focus on what we want to gain from life, not what others might think we need to gain.
Self care is giving up those thoughts and negative process through actions of self detoxification. We first have to start stepping away from trying to live at the same pace and to the same level as everyone else. This doesn't mean we don't try or we become lazy with goals we want to achieve. This means we start to appreciate what good we have to offer, how we can achieve in different ways, at different times, from different places. The comparison to others is a good place to start helping yourself. When you remove the idea of being like other people and become more authentic to yourself you start a chain reaction of release that flows into everything.
Giving yourself time to institute care routines then gives you small pockets of time to become more reflective. It is time that I believe is the biggest gift to yourself. The biggest part of self care in fact is giving yourself more time. More time to exercise, sleep, read, watch TV, all the things we love doing in fact and all the things that get shelved as we get too busy. Getting into good self care practices is really about giving yourself small pockets of time to do the things you love. It doesn't mean writing off whole afternoons. It means going to bed half an hour earlier so you get more sleep. It means taking 5 more minutes to wash your face on a morning, having a smoothie of spinach, kale, and broccoli a couple of times a week to up your intake of body changing greens (with fruit obvs. to make it sweeter). It means maybe walking a bit more, to work or on the school run, sitting in the sun with a cup of tea, nothing that takes huge chunks of time away from you, but actions that help you use all those wasted minutes really doing something for you.
The biggest part of self care in these small actions is getting away from your phone. Just in 5 to 10 minute pockets. Putting it down to enjoy a tea or coffee in the sunshine will transform your entire mood. Walking and just looking up will transform you. Not rushing to check your emails on a morning because you took a bit more time to wash and put on a nice skin product will transform you.
I think I could have just simply said at the beginning of the post to give yourself time to truly enjoy life.
That is really what this is about. It's about embracing life a little bit more, in all the small ways to make you feel like you are living for purpose not just living to do what everyone else is doing.
We are all individuals. We all like different things. We all work differently. When you recognise that, what you do for yourself and others becomes more bountiful.
My self care actions:
These are not all everyday actions but this is a list of things I do that make me appreciate myself, life, family, what I already have and how to work to my best ability.
I set my alarm 10 minutes before my husband's goes off.
I wake up to natural light. (no blinds)
As soon as I wake up I state what I am grateful for.
I make time to go on a walk most days.
I listen to audio books and podcasts that will teach me something.
Take hot drinks outside and just sit in the garden for 5 minutes.
I never let the weather stop what I am doing.
I also try not to let the weather dictate how I should feel. I have learned to stop saying "It's miserable outside".
I eat a very normal family diet but try to have a smoothie on the weekday packed with more greens to help boost immune.
Practice mindfulness.
Practice non judgemental living
Don't consume too much news. Only the main news and from a minimal number of outlets.
Don't share everything on social media.
The main thing to always remember when trying to practice something that will help me become a better person; You just have to practice, that's all you can do, keep trying and working towards living better.
