Sunday, 19 May 2019

Those Moments

Finding those moments and learning to stop.

I have to say, this last week the weather has been miserable. It ended with my mood really living up to the miserable surrounding and by Friday night I was just done. In fact, I more or less just hid and avoided work. I don’t know why really, nothing has bothered me but I suppose I just felt lazy and “blah” as we seem to put it. Now though, I am here sat out in the sun on some new garden furniture (which I am sure I will share at some point) and just full on basking in the sun's rays. In fact, I need to go get a hat really as it is just pouring onto my face and I have no SPF on. It feels good though, and uncontrollable warmth that is just settling me, healing me, keeping me still. I wasn’t going to do any writing today, after all, it is a Saturday but here in my stillness I felt the urge and am just tapping away on my notes as I sit here, slumped in the new outdoor lounge chair, listening through the open french doors as the kids play just metres away in the house. I can hear bird song, lawn mowers and the distant sound of Sonic the hedgehog on our TV. The kids have been out at tennis all morning and actually right now, their distraction of Sonic is perfect for me and I love it! This peace; not being bothered, just sitting is chilling me right out! We all know that life can’t be lived at 100mph. The system only gets you down. Yes, for many it is our only choice, money has to be made right, but really this life of chaos in quick movement isn’t good for any of us. I have to say, this moment; right now with both Rob and I about is a first. I am no sun worshiper, but here I am, outside, almost horizontal in figure just letting those rays beat down on me. The kids unbelievably are not bothering either of us, I think they are tired which is playing to our benefit and I am now going completely undisturbed for nearly 30 blissful minutes. I feel that I am winning hands down. More than five minutes peace for me; poor old 'Mrs Large', she never had a chance!
I have clearly digressed though, my relaxed nature must be infiltrating my writing!! 
Anyway, speed/life/relaxing, is impossible for all of us?
Last night was a proper Friday night, the kind where you rush around, in a completely mad way unable to stop because life just instructs it that way. School pick up, doctors appointment, swimming lessons, youth group, furniture building (totally worth it) constant all until after 9pm when life could stop, no responsibilities for a few hours until this morning. I know when we are not going well. Rob always says, “If something is hard to do, you are doing it wrong”, and he is always right. Life shouldn’t be hard. Jobs shouldn’t be hard. They can take hard work; that's a different thing, but really, that hardship we feel when things don’t work, when stuff breaks, when our mood is low, when we can’t see the light, it is usually because we are doing something wrong. We, more than likely, haven’t given ourselves enough time, set achievable goals, practised patience, actually assessed a situation correctly, we can just get to a point where we cannot see the ease of what life should be and rather get caught up in what we 'think' it should be. I repeat myself on this subject, I have written about it multiple times but that's because more often than not I get reminders of what life really is all about. We all know the truth so try and live it, try and step back.
The sun has now disappeared behind a solid wall of cloud. I don’t think he will resurface for some time and I feel my soul warming time has just come to an end! It was nice while it lasted, my cheeks are glowing. 👌


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