I can't ever get away from the fact that September means change......
I think I write this post every year in a roundabout way. I have it so instilled in me that September is the start of a new year. I often feel that, truly, it is and it is through September and October that the outdoors seem to shed its skin and I have always felt that it is great time to start something new. These reflective signs in the outdoors have always led me to believe that much like the trees who are going into a period of self-preservation, it is time for us to reflect on what we want out of life while we enter into a period of great change.
September has always felt new because I used to put a lot of emphasis on who I wanted to be each school year. It wasn't about changing but it was always about going into something hoping to make it through the year and feel good about it all. When you have been in education from age 4 - 21, it really is quite instilled in you; the "new year" - and that has always stuck with me. As I have grown up September was always the most exciting because I simply loved the arrival of Autumn. I am more religious than spiritual but autumn's arrival does something to me, I feel more connected to the earth in some way, like autumn is just my time.
One thing I never do is long for something to come, live each day as it is, friends, don't wish time away, but as I sit here looking out onto a grey September 7th I can't help but wonder; What's to come?
Having let the kids go back into the school system having been 'locked down' since March, and also ending my much loved job in content creation for Charlotte Jacklin.com (It just wasn't possible to continue) I have lightly been toying with the thought, what should I do now? I say lightly because I can just jump back into my own brand and see if I can work off advertising again via this blog and my social channels. But there is also a desire within me to do something more. This obviously can just be along side what I do here but Rob has job security right now and with not knowing how the whole school situation might pan out, I have to be honest and say I feel a bit like I can't start anything properly right now. And by right now I mean just that. I am not looking to the future, or making a plan. I think like many people, I am just going to see how it goes and every week we are in school is a blessing that maybe there is some control on this disease which has brought the world to its knees.
I have got some plans though, with having the kids around for so long we didn't get round to the usual house "fixer-upper" plans we had this summer. Never a problem though; I have free time now! Pretty much the entire house needs a fresh coat of white paint and we have the creation of two new children's bedrooms which obviously is very much a talking point these days. I have loved the kids sharing but now it is time to give them their own spaces. I also want to Depop my whole wardrobe, well pretty much anyway. I really don't want to live owning stuff I never wear or use. I will be trying to use second hand selling sites a lot this season. I also am trying to educate myself a bit more, not by reading but by listening. I am a big audiobook lover and having never truly found enjoyment from reading this is currently changing my life. I will try and review what I listen to.
So even when I think there isn't a job for me anymore I already have a list, and know that even though these jobs aren't my life's purpose, they need to be done and I may find a small income from them so whilst the new season settles in, and changes to what became our normal are made, I am just simply going to be here, carrying on, until the next door opens and opportunity comes my way. It always does; you just have to have your eyes truly open to see it coming!
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