I find my inspiration for posts in all sorts of places. The slipping on of this BEE DRESS and the purchase of next year's calendar all came up as a few important messages that I wanted to jot down.
It's hard to write about as just two nights ago I sat and cried with Rob about all the noise that was in my head about myself. It's hard; self-belief is a hard step to climb up as there are knocks coming in from all sorts of directions and I, yes I, am such a failure when it comes to having any faith in myself at all. God, I hate it. It's this horrible noise in the background reminding me of how stupid I am, how ugly, fat, useless all the obscenities which are just horrible words I am bringing myself down with. It happens though, it creeps into everyday life, and just niggles at you. And sometimes, I struggle to shake it, I struggle to let it fall off as I get other reminders through my life of maybe it being true. Reality is I just expect too much, I can't be so far reaching to the top that I am surprised by the little knock backs. As that is all they are, and that's what I need to remind myself. Not everything is vicious, not everything is intended, everyone has bad days and the only person who is in control of how I deal with all these things is me. So if it's just me, I need to start being kinder to myself. I need to start giving myself a leg up to get me where I want to go, and I must decide what the important achievement is to me and whether it is worth the struggle. After all, I am blessed with so much, so much truth in my life shines into it and actually now heading into a new year I need to carry that forward. That truth, what I have, what I have achieved and how important that is to recognise. I was thinking that it is exactly a year ago that I sat in our doctors and cried. It was all too much but time has moved on and actually, I find myself in a similar place but in a place that I need to control, that's what I have been taught. I control it all and with the Christmas break I need to lay this last year behind me and move on to looking after myself more. I need to BEE kinder to myself, as I am the one who looks at the reflection in the mirror.
My calendar I just happened to pick up from Homesense. I didn't even read what was on each page I just loved the shade of pink with the copper writing and was sold really. It wasn't until I was home and looked through each page that I realised what a lovely calendar it was. Each month with a mantra but a deep one, one to really contemplate and to carry in my thoughts. The first is the most explosive start to the year also, it drew me back slightly. It is very much 'Start as you mean to go on' and it is a stark reminder to us all. We all must live in more truth, we must live with love and most of all we must live in the light.
Courage is being yourself in a world that tells you to be someone else.
Bee You.
Thanks for the inspiration Joanie Clothing for this post!
I'm wearing their Bee Dress.
* Dress gifted by Joanie Clothing.
I don't want to seem rude, but having recently discovered your blog, I have quickly realised that it is less blog, more advertising and freebie grabbing. We are surrounded by advertising and really don't need blogs to be adverts too. I'm afraid you lose all credibility when you'll accept freebies for you, your house, your children etc. I personally would never sell my children in this way, nor would or do I accept freebies. I think some things can't be sold and privacy and the safety of my children are my priority as dare I say, they should be.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment. If my blog is not suitable for your reading pleasure, don't read it.
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